I hear what you are saying Abel. My counselor has suggested that sometimes the people around us are so focused on who we were and scared of that person not being there anymore. Yet we know that it's not up to us on how this disease will progress or when. I sometimes feel that the people that love us are so intent on holding on to the memory of who we were, because they can't bear to let that person go, they miss out on who we are now. Your grief about that is real and valid. It's like being erased. But don't give up explaining and communication. You owe it to yourself to keep telling your family and friends what you need and what you can and can not do. I'm sure that one day they'll listen. ❤️

Don't give up. my daughters live 45 minutes away and they never come her. I went to Frontier Justice (Indooor Shooting rcareange) they had Date Night for Valentines Day on the 13th. 1HR range then a dinner. What surprised me that my hand got weaker because my auto Pistol kept Jamming. I realized was holding it jammed because not holding it stiff enough. An automatic needs a firm grip in order for slide work properly. Anyway, wife enjoyed shooting my little 22 pistol, she took one shot with the 9mm and handed it back to me. LOL.

Being on disability and small army retirement. I can't work anymore. So, gets boring sometimes. Frustrating not able do things you used to be able to. Sorry, husband doesn't make more time for you. I know about kids come around only they need help or money. My wife's daughter is master at it. She loans her and loaned money when we really don't have it give. But. Loans never get repaid. But grandkids need to eat. My son lives with his mother because rent free and she helps pay insurance.

Hope husband did something for you for Valentines Day. Got wife little rose bush. Went Texas Roadhouse for dinner.

I'm not good at typing. Let you know I'm here if need to vent. If you want friend me on face book. Chesnut, John . When made my account I was still in Army mode. When they want last first on paperwork.
take care.

It's not that I want them to stop living their lives and it's not that the diseases defines who i am. But it does define what I can do. I suppose I don't know where I fit in, now that my disease doesn't allow me to show up in the way I used to. And I am feeling a sense of urgency to live and make memories that they can hold onto when I am gone. And that sense of urgency is not being shared.

It’s ironic how I feel like you have helped me and it sounds as though I’ve helped you with a different perspective! I love the way this works! For me it’s about getting out of self and engaging on a personal level to touch others who can appreciate the journey we are on! Continuously counting my blessings and being grateful for what I do have!

Thank you so much for your kind words John. They truly meant a lot. My husband and I had a good talk today and we both realized that his spending time elsewhere was because he is scared and feels helpless (my diagnosis is only a year old) but it was feeding my feelings of being an inconvenience and burden. So we promised we'd both do better. I would love to friend you on Facebook, but I gave up all social media 2 years ago. But now I'm actually thinking, I might reactivate my account. I have not decided yet. But for now, I am glad that I have found people like you on here. And of course you can vent to me as well. Thank you for being so kind. ♥️